I came across this story today, but it is a year old…nevertheless, it is STILL funny as FUCK! Each week or two, I’m going to try and bring you “Losers in the News”. This week we have Danny Brawner…

A 46-year-old man was indicted Thursday by a Bernalillo County grand jury for performing simulated sex acts on his car in an Albuquerque parking lot.

Patrick Davis, spokesman for the district attorney’s office, reports that Danny Brawner was seen by an off-duty police officer and the officer’s 10 year old son performing the simulated sex acts in a grocery store parking lot near Coors and Central in late July.

“Witnesses, including two children, told police that their attention was drawn to Brawner because his pants were around his ankles, he was swinging his arms in the air and shouting while he was ‘humping’ the trunk of his car,” Davis reports in a press release.

When officers arrived, Brawner had passed out next to the vehicle and appeared to be intoxicated, according to Davis.

Brawner was indicted on two felony counts of aggravated indecent exposure, according to Davis, who says he could face four years in jail and mandatory counseling if convicted.

You can just IMAGINE ole boy humping the HELL out of the truck…now see I have been known a time or ten to have My slaves on the phone hump their toilets for Me. Getting on cam while they talk to Me via Niteflirt while I humiliate their poor unfortunate souls. So, I wonder which one of My galDommes had their slave do this….either way, THIS right here is funny as SHIT!!!

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That it is for fucking purposes only!!!

A mannequin manufacturer is attaching warning stickers to its shop dummies – after a man mistook one for a sex doll and got his penis stuck.

The 31-year-old – who cannot be named for legal reasons – bought the female bust from the Displaysense online store for £38.

But he got more than he bargained for when he trapped his manhood inside a 24mm hole designed for a display stand.

The pervert from Doncaster, South Yorks, was left in a tight situation and feared he may have had to call out the fire service to help free him.

Luckily, he managed to waddle into his kitchen with the plastic dummy still attached, grab a pair of scissors and release himself – giving new meaning to the phrase ‘I’m free!’

Rather than keeping quiet about the embarrassing episode though, the fuming punter then rang up Displaysense to COMPLAIN.

The company’s sales team were forced to stifle their laughter as the man blasted the product’s “user friendliness” and demanded a refund.

Steve Whittle, marketing manager, said they were now considering issuing the mannequins – used by a number of high street stores – with warnings to prevent any repeat.

He said: “These busts are for display purposes only and no-where on the website or in the products packaging does it state that they should be used for adult means.

“During the phone call the gentleman in question demanded a refund on the now dismantled female bust at which point the refund request was politely refused

“He had purchased the display bust by accident after mistaking it for an adult toy.

“Due to the durability of the display bust, he became concerned that the fire brigade would need to be called to liberate him.

“But thankfully, a pair of heavy duty scissors were able to cut apart the female bust to release him and relieve his delicate area.

“After freeing himself, he made an angry call to us to complain about the user friendliness of the female bust and that it was not what he had ordered.

“The fact that one of our display busts has been used in an unusual fashion has stunned and embarrassed the entire sales team.

“We’ve just added these busts to our range and we normally expect some initial teething problems but not in our 30 years of business have we experienced such an incident.

“We are now going to place a warning on the new display bust section to prevent such ludicrous situations from happening again.

“It’s so bizarre that we have to warn people that our mannequins are for display use only and not for recreational use.”

In 2005, Michael Plentyhorse an 18 year old from the US was caught performing an indecent act with an arts centre mannequin

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TITUSVILLE – State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.

Allen has already denied any wrongdoing, but the recordings and documents offered new details about what he and police say happened on July 11 inside the men’s room at Veterans Memorial Park.

“I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it,” said Allen, R-Merritt Island, who was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.

“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away. (get the fuck outta here…you know you wanted to suck that big black dick)

Allen, who couldn’t be reached for comment Thursday, has repeatedly declared his innocence, his intention to fight the charges and his desire to stay in office.

Three undercover officers said they were staking out a nearby condo hoping to catch a burglar when Allen entered a park bathroom at about 3:30 p.m.

The officers, who didn’t recognize the seven-year legislator, said they thought he was behaving suspiciously and thought that he was looking for a sexual partner, according to the reports released by the Brevard-Seminole State Attorney’s Office.

In a written statement released Thursday, Titusville Officer Danny Kavanaugh recalled entering the restroom twice and said he was drying his hands in a stall when Allen peered over the stall door.

After peering over the stall a second time, Allen pushed open the door and joined Kavanaugh inside, the officer wrote. Allen muttered ” ‘hi,’ ” and then said, ” ‘this is kind of a public place, isn’t it,’ ” the report said.

The officer said he asked Allen about going somewhere else and that the legislator suggested going “across the bridge, it’s quieter over there.”

“Well look, man, I’m trying to make some money; you think you can hook me up with 20 bucks?” Kavanaugh asked Allen.

The officer said Allen responded, “Sure, I can do that, but this place is too public.”

Then Kavanaugh said he told Allen, “I wanna know what I gotta do for 20 bucks before we leave.’ ” He said Allen replied: “I don’t know what you’re into.”

According to Kavanaugh’s statement, the officer said, “do you want just [oral sex]?” and Allen replied, “I was thinking you would want one.”

The officer said he then asked Allen, “but you’ll still give me the 20 bucks for that . . . and that the legislator said, “yeah, I wouldn’t argue with that.”

As Allen turned and motioned for the officer to follow him to his car, Kavanaugh identified himself as a police officer by raising his shirt and exposing his badge.

When Allen was being placed in a marked patrol car, he asked whether “it would help” if he was a state legislator, according to a police report. The officer replied, “No.”

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Serial lingerie thief arrested

(Reuters)
Updated: 2007-03-14 20:49 TOKYO – Police found more than 4,000 pieces of lingerie in the home of a Japanese construction worker who used climbing skills developed on his job to steal women’s underwear.

Police believe that Shigeo Kodama, 54, amassed the 3,977 panties, 355 bras and 10 pairs of stockings over a six-year period. He was arrested in February after he stole underwear from two houses, and police later raided his home.

“Since he was a construction worker, as long as he had a place to put his feet he was able to climb, so he had no trouble getting up to the second floor of apartment buildings,” a police spokesman in the western Japanese city of Hiroshima said.

“He didn’t steal any other kinds of clothing. But as long as it was underwear, apparently anything would do,” the spokesman added.

Whoooooweeeee, talk about a panty fetish. This man has been collecting these items for 6 years. Okay, creepy…. he stole these items and I guarantee you that he sniffed and jerked off on each and every item there. Then he probably cleaned up every item after he spilled his cumjuice all over the pantyhose and in the panties.  I know that there are some of you out there who has a panty, pantyhose, bra fetish, but I sure hope that you don’t go that far as to steal. Buy it!!! Hell, ask Me for My sweaty pantyhose if need be, I’ll quote you a price.

I don’t know how they are over there in Tokyo, but if he was locked up over here and they found out about his panty, pantyhose fetish. That boy would be someone’s if not a couple of guys prison bitch

To Shigeo Kodama….you get the SUPER LOSER award!!!

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